Diabetes Does Not Go On Summer Vacation

First, my apologies for the gap in my postings. This usually signals danger, that if my blogging falls by the wayside, it's an indication that my diabetes maintenance has also fallen by the wayside. I am happy to report that this is NOT the case. I am still plugging away. This is not a "need to get back on track post," so yay for breaking that cycle.

My diabetes does not go on summer vacation when I do, unfortunately, but I usually have issues transitioning from "school mode" to "summer mode," working around the drastic change in my daily schedule, and figuring out how to make my diabetes work within that schedule. It's a challenge to say the least. But I did not give up this time around. I did not "shelve" my diabetes like I usually do when I go from one mode to the other, waiting for the storm of change to blow over before I think, "Oh yeah, that." It's always here, and so am I, so I'm making it work.

Since seeing the CDE at my new endo's office, I have increased my workouts from 3 days a week to 4. I am including mowing the lawn as a workout, FYI. I had a mini lapse while we were camping, but we were pretty active that week, and I don't remember sitting down a whole lot. I did notice a big difference after missing my run for a week, but it only took me a few days to get back to where I was. I found myself struggling up the last hill in the humidity this morning, wanting to just walk the rest. This next part is going to sound very cliche and cheesy, but I promise it didn't feel that way at the time. Amidst my rationalization for walking (which I had not done yet), I found myself saying (in my head, don't worry), "But you're not a quitter." Over and over. "You're not a quitter for your kids." "You're not a quitter for yourself." The statements came through louder each time, until I had made it up the hill. I'm not a quitter. Anymore.

I used to be. For anyone who knows me, it might not add up. My over-achieving tendencies put my on a crash-and-burn track. I go in full force, get overwhelmed, or get the sense that the end result won't be perfect, and I stop. I would quit. I have seen this pattern of behavior in projects I take on, hobbies I take up, life changes, and most significantly, with my health. It may appear that I am on top of those things, and that the end result is a success, but that is not the reality. Or at least, wasn't.

The reality now is that I keep going. I am MAINTAINING. I have pulled back a little bit in order to avoid the burn-out, and some days are messier than others, but I keep going. I am not going to be that crash-and-burn person anymore. My expectations are not in the results, but in my efforts.

And so, summer mode is in full effect. We have gone camping, beaching, kiddie-pooling, strawberry picking, ice-cream eating, playground hunting, and water-tabling. And I'm here, present, ready to take on what comes next.

Chellis