Dangerous Assumptions

I have been thinking about this post for awhile. I am constantly inundated with comments, "newspieces," cultural references, and personal tales concerning diabetes. Sadly, 90% of what I hear and see is incorrect, from people grossly misinformed, or basing all of their diabetes knowledge on that cousin/uncle/grandmother. It is frustrating to field comments such as:

"You shouldn't eat that!"
Truth: If one counts carbs, and takes enough insulin to account for those carbs, there are really no limits to what a diabetic can eat. That being said, there are certainly foods that are unhealthy for everyone, not diabetics in particular. At times, I wish my response to this comment could be: "Neither should you!"

"Is your diabetes really bad?"
Truth: This one slays me. It seems as if there is a "bad" and a "not-so-bad" version of this disease. I'm not sure what characterizes one or the other, but the assumption that being on a pump/taking shots/wearing a sensor equates the severity of one's diabetes is silly. If anything, it indicates that a person is proactive in their care, using the latest technology to control their own diabetes. How "bad" one has this disease really depends on how well they monitor it, not the disease itself.

"My uncle/grandmother/cousin used to (insert some diabetes horror story)."
Truth: With diabetes, it is never one-size-fits-all. For one, Type I and Type II diabetes are different beasts. But they all get lumped together in the news and in minds of many, especially if they "know" someone with either. Apples and oranges, people. Within Type I diabetes, however, every person's experience is unique. What works for one person may be to the detriment of another. It truly is an individual disease, which can make it even more isolating to the person living with it. Which brings me to the main point of my post:

Besides my husband and some very close friends, no one in real life (meaning aside from online communities/message boards) asks about my diabetes. Ever. I take some responsibility in this because I WANT people to think that I am capable. I got this. I can do this by myself. This mentality stems from being 13 at the time of my diagnosis, and not wanting attention drawn to me for a "disease." Which of course led to a deep, layered level of denial that would go on for years to come, and creep in even still. I believe it also led to people assuming that "she's handling this so well. She's fine."

Appearances are decieving. Don't assume that because a person with diabetes appears healthy, together, and capable, that their diabetes is in tip top shape. Ask questions. Engage in conversation about it. If no one talks to me about my diabetes, and if I don't engage in conversation about my diabetes, it becomes very easy to pretend it is not something I have to consider, think about, plan for, and at times fear, EVERY DAY.

So, I'm stepping up my game. I'm going to be talking about it. I'm going to make it more visible. But if you see me, ask about it. If you talk to me on the phone, ask about it. If you write me an email, engage me in a conversation about it. It's not a subject that should be hard to bring up. Besides, my dad always said "Assuming makes an ass out of u and me."